Some big themes in my inbox from the past year:
Want some advice on a money dilemma?
No question is too awkward or tricky.
This column is a judgment-free zone, and Ill always keep your identity anonymous.
Send your money questions to[email protected].
Check back every Wednesday and Sunday to see if Ive answered your question.
Keep those letters coming in 2022.
Have a happy and safe new year.
Our team has compiled alist of creative waysyou can fatten your bank account this week.
This is a long list, so dont get overwhelmed.
Well keep it updated as offers changes or expire.
Am I a Cheapskate for Not Giving $500 for My Aunts Funeral?
Dear Penny,
My aunt passed away.
Her only daughter, Beth, could not afford the full cost of the funeral.
She is 61 and working two jobs and sometimes three jobs to make ends meet.
She has children who are in their 30s, but they struggle to make ends meet as well.
My cousin, Mary, and her siblings were thinking about helping her with the cost of the funeral.
They are close to Beth and have had contact with her throughout the years.
Both of my brothers chimed in that they would be happy to help in any way they can.
However, my aunt was my dads sister, so I understood why my brothers wanted to help.
I remained silent and didnt reply until I had a chance to think about it.
I decided to send Beth a Mass card, knowing she and my aunt were very religious.
I felt the gift was appropriate for my relationship with her.
The full cost of the funeral was now covered.
My brother went on to say that Beth would no longer have my aunts Social Security checks.
(My aunt was living with Beth at the time of her death.)
Tom was wondering if we would all like to contribute and send something.
All my brothers agreed to do so.
I told him I already sent something to Beth.
I havent heard from my brothers since that email.
I have always been frugal and it bothers Tom.
Its not a question of being able to afford it.
This situation has kept me up for nights on end.
Im not sure if I did the right thing by not contributing the $500.
Do you have any advice?
-H.
Read Pennys responsehere.
Am I a Jerk if I Refuse to Pay for My Mother-in-Laws Funeral?
My mother-in-law is 89 and in good health.
The reason Im writing is that in August 2019, my father-in-law died at age 88 from cancer.
There are eight siblings in total.
My husband is the oldest, and my sister-in-law is fifth and has power of attorney for their parents.
When my father-in-law was in the hospital, my husband spoke to his sister about financial needs.
My sister-in-law and her husband have helped my inlaws for years but said they were tapped out.
He gave them a check for $5,000, money taken out on one of our credit cards.
My sister-in-law accepted the check but completely shut my husband out of participating in my father-in-laws funeral mass.
She said nothing about her seven siblings, or the 13 grandchildren and 11 great-grandchildren.
If he insists, I only want him to give $500 not $5,000.
What should we do?
-Outlaw
3.
Do I Sue My Brother-in-Law for the $92K I Paid to Save His Home?
My brother-in-laws home was being foreclosed on.
He still owes me over $92,000.
I basically gave him a $100,000 interest-free loan.
-Unlucky in Kentucky
4.
Am I a Bad Mom if I Dont Co-sign My Daughters $800K Mortgage?
My 25-year-old daughter moved back home while I was taking care of my mom, who has Alzheimers.
Because I wasnt staying there, she never paid rent, but she did pay for internet and gas.
Well, now things are progressing, and I will be selling my moms home.
I am currently having a room built at my home, since she will be staying there as well.
I have always helped out my kids as a single mom.
I told her NO.
I then said her grandmother knows that this is an unrealistic request.
Ill have a pension and Social Security with only a leased car to pay for.
Now they are thinking of asking me again in a year or so to co-sign.
Am I wrong to tell her no?
Am I wrong to focus more on me and my mother at this time in our lives?
I know she cant afford an apartment by herself in California, but thats not my fault either.
-Frustrated Mom
Ask Dear Penny!
Your Email AddressSend Your Question
DISCLAIMER: Questions will appear in The Penny Hoarders Dear Penny column.
We are unable to answer every letter.
We reserve the right to edit and publish your questions.
But dont worry your identity will remain anonymous.
Thank you for your question!
Your willingness to share your story might help others facing similar challenges.
While we cant publish every question we receive, we appreciate you sharing your question with us.
Ask Another Question
5.
Am I Obligated to Tell My Parents Im a Millionaire at 22?
Ive become the first millionaire in my family.
Im wondering if I should ever tell them or how would I go about even bringing it up.
Im 22 years old.
Any recommendations on what I should do and if I should wait?
-M.
6.
Am I Entitled to $240K Cash Found in My Dead Brothers Drawer?
Dear Penny
My brother passed away five years ago.
He left a substantial amount of cash in a dresser drawer.
When my other brother had to identify his body, he found the $240,000.
She has always controlled my brother, and its terribly saddening that a person could be that selfish.
Is there a legal way of having this money distributed fairly among the rest of us siblings?
-Saddened Sister
7.
Will Social Security Tell Me When My Ex-Husband Dies?
We were married for more than 10 years, and I have not remarried.
I have consulted a couple of Social Security planners.
If not, how can I possibly know when to make the change?
-K.
8. Who Pays for Dads Massive Debt When He Dies?
Our dad states in his will that my sister and I are to inherit his house.
Were supposed to sell it and pay his sizable debts, and then we get to split any leftovers.
Are my sister and I responsible for the debt that isnt paid off from the sale of the house?
Are we then financially responsible for his massive spending habits when he was alive?
My Dad Says I Owe Him $400/Month When He Retires.
We have a credit card, but we pay it off every month.
But heres the rub: When I was in college, some of my financial aid fell through.
I had to face the fact that I couldnt afford to go back after that summer.
I dont remember how it got smoothed over, but it did.
I was allowed to go back.
Again, I was young and dumb and didnt give it another thought.
He paid off those loans with his and my moms retirement savings.
I didnt realize this until it was already done.
Now they are talking about retiring in the next few years.
My understanding is that he and his wife had to juggle things to make this work.
The loans totaled $39,769, but he had to pay interest.
Thats a quote from his email to me.
Weve plateaued at our current savings level since buying our house last year.
Im also worried that we arent saving enough for our own retirement.
Ive been trying to learn about bonds, Roth IRAs, and so on.
Im so overwhelmed by how little I understand.
This isnt legal debt, but I still owe my parents.
They wont be able to live in retirement without my paying them back.
My brother has already done so much by preparing housing and a used car for them.
I cant ask him for more.
Plus, its my fault my parents dont have retirement savings, not my brothers.
Can you kindly help me decide what our next steps should be?
Do we hire a financial planner to give us custom guidance?
And dont get me started on my in-laws, who live in a different state.
My father-in-law is incarcerated.
My mother-in-law is living on only Social Security in my sister-in-laws apartment.
We are wealthy compared to that side of the family.
We want to help them too, but we feel stuck!
-Overwhelmed
10.
Weve been dating for two years, and its been wonderful.
The way I see it, I am very responsible with the money I do make.
I dont have any debt, and I pay all my own bills.
Do you have any advice for us?
This is one neither of us knows how to navigate.
-R.
Robin Hartill is a certified financial planner and a senior writer at The Penny Hoarder.
Send your tricky money questions to[email protected]or chat with her inThe Penny Hoarder Community.
(Can you sense my millennial sarcasm there?)
You know which ones were talking about: rent, utilities, cell phone bill, insurance, groceries…
