We own a condo that needs repairs and two cars that are over 10 years old.
I saw his payments to the credit cards.
But hes sneaky with money and buys things in secret.
I once found out he spent over $500 on model kits.
I made him return/sell most of them.
I dont trust him anymore, and he wont tell me how much our debt was.
Weve been together 25 years and married for 12 years, but I want a divorce.
I dont want to spend my inheritance on a lost cause.
If we divorce, will I be responsible for half of the debt?
Should I give a shot to sell the condo as is and take off the amount to fix it?
Im trying to get out of this mess, but need help.
-H.
Dear H.,
You know that saying, Things get worse before they get better?
Your already long journey isnt over yet.
Emotionally, this is basically the worst.
Your first steps to extricate yourself need to be strategic.
Not emotionless, but with your emotions put off to the side for a little while.
First, get afree credit reportto take stock of whats at stake here.
What debts are in both your names instead of just yours or just his?
Those will be the ones you should probably worry about most.
Based on what you noted about verbal abuse, Im concerned about your safety.
Considercontacting a victim advocatewho can help you develop a plan to exit this relationship safely.
No Interest Til Almost 2027?
Remember, you dont have to mutually want a divorce to get out of this relationship.
you’re free to be the plaintiff who files against him.
Consider your safety first.
But its money well-spent if it can provide peace of mind, safety and eventual financial freedom.
Did you know?
I wont be able to answer every single letter (I can only pop in so fast!).
We reserve the right to edit and publish your questions.
Dont worry your identity will remain anonymous.
I do, however, promise to give you honest advice based on my own insights and real-life experiences.
Lisa Rowan is a senior writer at The Penny Hoarder.
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