A few of years ago, my husband and I were in limbo.

Our savings werent growing, even though we both had full-time jobs.

We felt like we were hurtling along in life, but never getting anywhere.

A married couple converse over breakfast.

I mean, we werent frivolous with our money!

We werent smothered under debt!

We werent likeother couplesfighting about money.

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But we werent talking about money, either.

And since finances influence every other area of life, we werent talking about our jobs or our goals.

They were kind of there, kind of fuzzy and not at all the driving force behind our decisions.

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That budgeting class changed how we thought about money and ultimately how we related to one another.

Being forced to sit down and talk about our financial situations brought life into better focus.

Most of these fights start because the people in the relationship arent on the same page.

Maybe youre working off different budgets (or no budget), or you have different attitudes toward money.

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verify Youre Not Tired, Hungry or Rushed

It may sound silly, but its not.

to discuss your situation.

My husband and I often spend some time on Sunday afternoons chatting through our budget.

The way your parents organized their finances probably had an impact on you.

My husband and I grew up with vastly different influences regarding money.

His mom has an accounting background and balances her checkbook to the penny.

If my parents budgeted, I never knew it.

They werent savers and didnt have a retirement plan.

I dont think I ever heard the word budget before meeting my in-laws.

As is the case in most relationships, we dont always see eye-to-eye.

Discuss Your Goals

And not just financial goals: What is most important to you in life?

Ask yourselves the question: What do I want life to look like?

Dream big, and then venture to discern the underlying values beneath those dreams.

It was the perfect compromise.

Another budget discussion we had led me tobecoming an entrepreneur.

Those goals will drive your decisions of how to spend your money together.

How do you figure it all out together?

you oughta both be on the same page about how youre going to save and spend this money.

Its important to decide on a no-questions-asked allowance for each of you.

And then youll feel guilty because you failed, and its a downhill spiral from there.

Its good to build in some fun money for each person to spend or save as they kindly.

Maybe you underestimated how much gas you would need that month and youve already overspent.

Readjust by pulling some money from a category where you havent spent as much, like groceries.

Give it another two weeks and reevaluate.

Then, plan out the next months budget with your new knowledge about your spending habits.

Itll feel like a date.

and will need to add it in later and re-allocate some funds accordingly.

you might borrow $20 from the grocery fund and plan to eat more leftovers this month.

Budgeting is about making your financial decisions reinforce your life goals.

The answer will tell you how to better spend your money now.

Having a monthly budget we agree on and that reflects our goals changed our relationship.

I have a feeling it will do the same for you.

Abbigail Kriebs is a contributor to The Penny Hoarder.

(Can you sense my millennial sarcasm there?)

You know which ones were talking about: rent, utilities, cell phone bill, insurance, groceries…