Real Answers for Life’s Money Challenges

Im a union worker making a decent wage.

My wife is a school teacher with a second job on the weekends.

We have separate checking accounts, and we have one together.

A woman holds numerous shopping bags and gift boxes to show excessive spending.

Once you finally get your finances in order, you want to keep them that way. Here areseveral moves to make now.

She spends so much at the grocery store and wherever else she spends money.

She thinks that if we have an extra hundred dollars, she needs to spend it.

I want to retire next year.

Dear Penny

Im trying to save as much money as I can.

She has no idea how much I make.

If I would put the whole thing into our checking, I know I wouldnt be able to retire.

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She spends so much money, and I dont know what she spends it all on.

Its driving me crazy.

Its hurting our relationship.

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How can I get her to stop spending so much money?

-M.

Dear M.,

Maybe your wife is a reckless spendthrift.

Or maybe shes exhausted.

When youre overwhelmed, youre prone to making poor decisions about money.

You may make more impulse purchases or spend more in exchange for convenience.

Its also harder to hunt for bargains when your energy is depleted.

You only have so much brain space.

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Its easier to rein in spending when you have a goal.

Whats in this for your wife?

Approach your wife about your mutual financial goals.

You want to retire soon, and Im guessing she doesnt want to work forever.

Maybe a shorter-term goal for her would be to reduce expenses so she can quit her weekend job.

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If your wife truly does have a spending problem, its just as important that you work together.

Maybe you could take over the bulk of bill-paying and shopping in the short term.

Breaking a bad habit is easier when you give yourself less room to screw up.

Otherwise, selling the car should be on the table.

Your wife may be resistant to talking money, particularly if she has a spending problem.

Be honest with her.

If you cant talk openly about finances, your relationship is at risk.

Each of you gets a set amount to spend every month however you want.

But you wont go over your personal budgets without getting the other spouses OK.

Your wife may need to curb her spending habits.

You may need to compromise some, too.

Or perhaps you could get a second job to get your savings back on track.

But dont expect your wife to make big changes just so you might retire on your timeline.

The ultimate goal here is financial security for you both.

Robin Hartill is a certified financial planner and a senior writer at The Penny Hoarder.

Send your tricky money questions to[email protected].

Probably not as good as youd like.

It always seems like an uphill battle to build (and keep) a decent amount in savings.

But what if your car breaks down, or you have a sudden medical bill?

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