Real Answers for Life’s Money Challenges

My husband and I have been married for 10 years.

We have four children (ages range from 8 to 5 months).

We recently relocated, and my husband is busted so he can care for our youngest children.

A couple argue with the mother-in-law in the background.

My mother-in-law retired and relocated with us.

She is currently living with us and has been for over 10 months.

We share a meal twice a week (she purchases and cooks once and we cook once).

Dear Penny

Things have gotten a bit tense because how we should split bills has become a sticking point.

I had been purchasing all the laundry detergent, paper products, cleaning products and other household supplies.

However, as the cost of things has been rising, Im beginning to wonder what is fair.

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What should I expect her to contribute to other bills, if anything?

-C.

Dear C.,

No wonder things are tense!

Youve got seven people living in a household, including four young children.

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It sounds like youre carrying the household on your income.

Even without soaring inflation, nerves are bound to run high.

I dont know what a fair amount to charge your mother-in-law is.

Keep in mind, though, that most of those listings wont include four roommates ages 8 and younger.

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But Im guessing your goal isnt to charge her market rent.

If she helps out a lot with childcare and household duties, thats something to consider.

Of course, you deserve to be compensated for sharing your space.

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Be mindful of her budget.

I dont think its right to, say, double her rent.

But it doesnt sound like shes hurting too badly for money if she can afford to buy new construction.

You and your husband should approach your mother-in-law together.

Ideally, he would take the lead.

Inlaw dynamics can get messy, after all.

But regardless of who does most of the talking, make this less about whats fair.

Focus on your current reality, which is that youre really stressed out and money is a big factor.

In the past 10 months, our expenses have gone up by X%.

I know times are tough for everyone.

But would it be doable to contribute $X extra a month?

If she insists thats not possible, think about other ways she could contribute.

Did you know?

you’re able to ask your mother-in-law to chip in more.

Eventually, she will move out.

That may be good news, but shell also take her $750 a month with her.

As tight as things are now, start preparing for that reality.

Robin Hartill is a certified financial planner and a senior writer at The Penny Hoarder.

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