Real Answers for Life’s Money Challenges
My husband has worked at the same company for almost 45 years.
Its a small manufacturer that is run by a family.
This meant that his gross income was lower in the past four years than it was in 2009.
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As you may guess, he is less than 10 years from retirement.
My husband holds himself to standards of loyalty and a strong work ethic.
I have been married to him for over 30 years.
Ive suggested he look for another job many times.
Its not going to happen.
He has been told that hes appreciated, but hes not treated as if he is appreciated.
No amount of loyalty protects your job if your company isnt profitable.
So Id suggest that he make the case for a raise and apply for new jobs, as well.
Of course, your husband didnt ask me for advice.
you’ve got the option to pass my thoughts along to him.
But I have a feeling youve been dispensing the exact same advice for many years at this point.
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You clearly have a lot of empathy for your husband.
So take a stab at understand where hes coming from.
He has worked at this job for most, if not all, of his adult life.
We become comfortable with whats familiar, even when its a bad situation.
This is the only job your husband knows.
Its not surprising that he refuses toquit his jobafter nearly 45 years.
This sounds like a struggling business.
I say this only because your husband needs to understand that this probably isnt personal.
(Thats wage theft, which is illegal.)
Probably not as good as youd like.
It always seems like an uphill battle to build (and keep) a decent amount in savings.
But what if your car breaks down, or you have a sudden medical bill?
Ask one of these companies to help… Ageism remains a real problem for older workers.
From his perspective, 35 hours pay is better than zero hours of pay.
You cant control the actions of your husband or his employer.
You cant go to job interviews for him or negotiate directly with his boss.
Your husbands emotional reactions to how hes treated at work are also out of your hands.
The only thing you’re free to control is your reaction.
If youre frequently telling him how unappreciated he is, you gotta stop.
Sometimes feelings of frustration can motivate people to act.
But clearly, that isnt the case here.
attempt to remove the emotion as much as possible from the conversation.
Focus on reality instead.
Try talking about what that means for your finances objectively.
His wages will buy less and less each year, particularly if inflation sticks around for a while.
Will the two of you still be able to keep up with living costs?
Or is he willing to take on aside gig?
Assuming that you work, your contributions need to be part of this discussion, too.
When your husband gets upset over his treatment at work, try not to stoke his anger.
Sometimes when you talk about a problem incessantly, we feel like were taking action even when we havent.
Remind your husband of the qualities youre proud of, like his loyalty and work ethic.
But dont make this a pity party.
So keep things focused on your husband and what actions hes willing to take.
Robin Hartill is a certified financial planner and a senior writer at The Penny Hoarder.
Send your tricky money questions to[email protected].
(Can you sense my millennial sarcasm there?)
You know which ones were talking about: rent, utilities, cell phone bill, insurance, groceries…
