Real Answers for Life’s Money Challenges
Ive been living with my boyfriend for eight months.
We keep our finances separate.
He gives me his 50% for the bills each month, and hes never late with his share.
I have some debt too, so Im not judging him for having it.
Im pretty sure I could get the info needed to pull up his credit report.
I know it seems wrong, but isnt this important info to have about someone youre living with?
Does that sound like a good way to start a conversation?
Though I am curious about where this talk would go, lets agree that it wouldnt be anywhere positive.
There are some exceptions.
Sorry, theres no exception for curious significant others.
That means what youre suggesting is a crime.
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I think what you need is help navigating what could be a very uncomfortable conversation.
What I wonder is whether youve conveyed why you think sharing this information is so vital.
If you treat this as a fact-finding mission into your boyfriends past, his resistance is understandable.
Youll probably get a lot further if you approach this as an essential part of planning your shared future.
Did you know?
You brew coffee at home, you dont walk into Target and you refuse to order avocado toast.
(Can you sense my millennial sarcasm there?)
Sure, there could be evidence of some secret past life that would be revealed on his credit report.
But I think a likelier explanation is that hes embarrassed.
One thing Im curious about is whether your boyfriend is usually the guarded jot down.
If so, Im more inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt.
But if he gets cagey specifically when money comes up, my spidey senses would start working overtime.
If you cant communicate honestly about something as important as money, this is not a healthy relationship.
I would consider this a dealbreaker.
Robin Hartill is a senior editor at The Penny Hoarder and the voice behind Dear Penny.
Send your questions about debt to[email protected].
(Can you sense my millennial sarcasm there?)
