Im in my mid-50s.
I want to retire because I dont enjoy work, and the stress is affecting my health.
I think she fears what other people will think.
Did your wife actually say that?
You say youthinkshe fears what other people will think.
This sounds like your hypothesis.
Have you tried having an actual conversation about what shes actually thinking?
I get so many letters from people who are in their 50s and 60s with virtuallynothing saved for retirement.
Often, the problem iscompoundedbycrushing debt.
You, however, have a seven-figure nest egg, three homes and no debt.
You have a comfortable retirement ahead of you your only dilemma is when that comfortable retirement begins.
But theres a bigger issue at play here.
Retirement marks a huge lifestyle change.
Planning for retirement ideally involves a lot more than planning for life beyond a paycheck.
But often the focus of retirement planning is solely financial because most people are woefully lacking in savings.
Just getting to retirement in this lifetime is the goal.
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Money is just part of the picture.
Retirement gives you a plethora of free time.
Youre more likely to become isolated.
Theres no way your spouse wont be affected and thats something I worry you may have lost sight of.
Heres what you say: Youve worked hard.
You want to retire.
No reference to the life the two of you have built together.
Your wife only enters your narrative as a force who stands in the way of what you want.
Talk with your wife about what you envision for your retirement.
Ask her what she thinks your life will look like.
Maybe the two of you have starkly different visions that are at the root of this conflict.
How would retiring now let you get more of that?
And in what ways does your wife worry your retiring now would change your lives for the worse?
And if shedoessay shes worried about what other people will think?
Press her on it.
Ask her: Who are these people, and what will they think?
The most important thing you might do here is listen openly and hear your wife out.
Ask questions if you dont understand her perspective.
it’s possible for you to address her worries only if you know what they are.
Just double-check you arent looking at retirement through rose-colored glasses.
Retirement doesnt magically give you health and happiness.
Robin Hartill is a senior editor at The Penny Hoarder and the voice behind Dear Penny.
Send your questions about retirement to[email protected].
