I live about an hours drive from him, so I really only spend the weekends with him.
I feel that he is not acknowledging my contributions in any way.
So how should I handle this situation?
Ask him to reimburse you for transportation at the IRS standard mileage rate.
Better yet, you could not visit your boyfriend this weekend.
Or the weekend after that.
At most, hell free up a few bucks in hisbudgetif youre not there using his utilities.
More importantly, youll free up your time.
Then you might pursue someone who actually values your companionship.
At best, your boyfriend is being an extreme cheapskate.
But I cant help but feel that hes being manipulative by trying to make you responsible for his bills.
This is a completely ridiculous request.
This isnt up for debate.
it’s possible for you to tell him why its so absurd on a financial level.
Im sure those costs alone are much higher than the tiny bit extra youre adding to his utilities.
You brew coffee at home, you dont walk into Target and you refuse to order avocado toast.
(Can you sense my millennial sarcasm there?)
You know which ones were talking about: rent, utilities, cell phone bill, insurance, groceries…
But also tell him how what hes asking makes you feel.
I think youre spot on when you say your boyfriend isnt acknowledging your contributions.
This isnt just about what you do around the house.
You want someone who appreciates your time and company.
What Im curious about is whether this request is out of character for your boyfriend.
I suppose one extremely charitable explanation could be that hes stressed about money.
That doesnt let him off the hook, of course.
If thats the case, listen carefully.
This isnt aboutthe costsof water and electricity.
This is about how he values your relationship.
That applies to your current relationship, as well as any relationships you pursue in the future.
Quit doing your boyfriends house cleaning and laundry and grocery shopping on your weekends.
He can do his own chores like a responsible adult.
He could also pay you a visit for a change to save you some time and gas money.
Your boyfriends reaction will be very telling.
Robin Hartill is a certified financial planner and a senior writer at The Penny Hoarder.
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