Real Answers for Life’s Money Challenges
I have been dating a guy for eight months.
He has always insisted on paying for our dates, generally meals, and wouldnt hear my objections.
He still wants to take me on a trip that he paid for.
Should I pay for half of the trip and walk away?
-D.
Dear D.,
What did this guy expect?
Youve already made the important decisions: Youre not going on this trip.
You just need my help sorting out a few details.
This isnt really about him, though.
This guy clearly likes to play head games.
Even if he treated you to eight months of fancy dates, that doesnt make you a mind reader.
By paying for your half of this vacation, youre setting things straight in your own mind.
It was your boyfriends choice to pay for eight months worth of dates.
He is not a victim, even though hes going to insist otherwise.
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take a stab at avoid rehashing the past eight months.
That will turn into an argument you simply cant win with this guy.
Focus on how youre feeling right now.
Youre no longer enjoying his company as the result of his incessant complaining.
I think paying not to go on vacation with this man sends a pretty strong message.
Im not holding out hope that hell actually hear the message.
But at least youll have set the record straight for yourself.
In the future, Id caution against letting someone pay for everything, no matter how much they insist.
Some people may insist on paying the bill for everything because they enjoy treating their partners.
But sometimes theres a hidden motivation.
Its about their egos, or theyre setting ridiculous expectations for you in the process.
Theyre not hearing your objections.
Youre not going to date this man any longer.
This trip is now a vacation for one.
Robin Hartill is a certified financial planner and a senior writer at The Penny Hoarder.
Send your tricky money questions to[email protected].
(Can you sense my millennial sarcasm there?)
You know which ones were talking about: rent, utilities, cell phone bill, insurance, groceries…