He has no debt or mortgage and has fewer payments than I have.
He has complained that he wants me to pay 50% for dinners and activities.
I take a stab at cook food and have paid for concerts and entertainment.
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Last year I paid for our lodging up North.
He knows Im struggling and has called me entitled for not paying 50% in the past.
What do I do?
R.
Dear R.,
You set firm limits and communicate them.
For example, you could tell your boyfriend, Id love to join you up North this year.
Its looking like my half will cost $800.
Unfortunately, I can only afford $300.
If your boyfriend confuses honesty with entitlement, then he needs a new dictionary.
You, on the other hand, need a new boyfriend.
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Its unrealistic to expect that your partner will have the same salary and level of savings.
Thats especially problematic when the higher earner expects their partner who has less money to upgrade to their lifestyle.
Typically, a much fairer way to split things is according to income.
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This is a long list, so dont get overwhelmed.
Well keep it updated as offers changes or expire.
We all get a limited number of deal-breakers in a partner.
Its possible to find someone who can afford to pay exactly 50% of everything without adjusting your lifestyle.
If thats a priority for your boyfriend, maybe this isnt the relationship for him.
What you shouldnt do under any circumstances is pay half for a vacation just to accommodate your boyfriend.
Youre in control of your budget.
Youre not entitled if you say, I cant afford that.
You may not get the answer you want from your boyfriend.
But youll get the answer you better hear from him.
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