Real Answers for Life’s Money Challenges
My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years now.
Unfortunately, we are not doing too well financially and are paying off debt with a debt relief company.
Even with this, we still struggle to get by.
I make $40,000 a year.
He also purchases cigarettes and weed on a weekly basis, which is a chunk of change as well.
He claims he wants to get ahead, but he wont budget or look for a better job.
What should I do?
Ive tried talking to him, but he gets defensive about this stuff and then walks away.
Should I just end the relationship because hes not willing to grow up?
Its been seven years.
Based on what youve told me, Im not holding out hope that your boyfriend will change his ways.
Your boyfriend is detached from reality if he expects his financial situation to get better without making changes.
Its the fact that his response when you express concern is to walk away from the conversation.
That suggests a problem that goes way beyond money.
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But I get it: Breakups are hard, particularly when youve been together for years.
Its understandable why youd want him to look for better-paying work or stop wasting money on smoking.
But switching jobs or giving up a long-term habit can be enormously stressful.
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Compared to changing jobs or giving up a smoking habit, this is a relatively small ask.
As long as this relationship continues, your odds of achieving financial stability are pretty much non-existent.
I think you should start prepping your finances now, assuming that you are going to end this relationship.
If its possible to save a little extra, either by cutting back or working extra, do it.
Be sure to keep the money in a bank account thats in your name only.
You may want to ask around to see if anyone you know is looking for a roommate.
Sometimes people need an impetus to change.
Your boyfriend is clearly comfortable with letting you absorb the stress of his decisions.
Perhaps a breakup would give him a much-needed kick to grow up already.
Did you know?
Either he learns to act like an adult, or youre gone.
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