He has been getting a lot of credit and loans.
I want to get the debt paid off, but he wants to continue taking out debt.
His idea is to sell what we own here to pay it off.
Trying to climb out of debt? Here are50 ways to bring in extra money this month.
We are preparing to sell a home that is too big and to do so next year.
The debt is so high, I will probably not get much for myself.
Just enough to cover the remainder of the mortgage and a good portion of the debt.
He is belligerent when I dont go along.
He is now telling me that he will do what he wants and I cant control him.
I only want to stop the debt.
He is 68, and I am 60.
I want to retire next year.
This means no income.
We would need to live off of rent from our properties.
All of that money now goes toward paying creditors every month.
I feel he is hiding more and more of what he is doing and with whom.
All of his transactions are in cash, so they cant really be documented.
Again, I am trying to control him in his mind.
I suppose thats true, but mostly, I want to stop this chinstrap borrowing.
I know he will start getting into more debt for the retirement home.
I have extreme panic and anxiety attacks over it.
He just sees this as more control issues on my part.
I dont want to divorce.
-R.
Dear R.,
I think youre pretty clear-eyed about this situation.
You know your husband will continue to amass more debt as long as he can.
You could try putting the rental income in an account you control, as you suggest.
But it will be a Band-Aid solution at most.
Hell find a way to keep borrowing if hes truly determined.
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Id vote for the latter option.
But it isnt just how your debts and property would be divided in a divorce that worries me.
Im concerned about how much you dont know.
You say you think your husband is hiding things from you.
Probably not as good as youd like.
It always seems like an uphill battle to build (and keep) a decent amount in savings.
But what if your car breaks down, or you have a sudden medical bill?
Retiring next year probably wont be on the table.
You may need to downsize to a lifestyle thats much different from what youre accustomed to.
When you dont have control over your finances, its nearly impossible to be in control of your life.
Your husband has been clear: He values acquiring more stuff over your well-being.
Robin Hartill is a certified financial planner and a senior writer at The Penny Hoarder.
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