Real Answers for Life’s Money Challenges
Recently I met a man I liked.
Unfortunately, hes divorced with five kids.
His kids live in a different state far away.
I immediately got turned off.
It just didnt sound right.
I feel thats wrong.
That way both parents are in agreement where the money goes.
Hes unwilling to go back because she cheated, and shes on drugs.
So his headache has become mine.
Im not going to be pushed onto the streets with nothing.
There needs to be equality.
If equality cannot be created, he should stay single.
I dont have kids, and Im usually opposed to dating people who do.
This is one of the reasons.
A partial reason for getting married is to build wealth together.
I would never tell him hed get nothing.
This just isnt my Prince Charming.
Its not what I wanted for my life.
They would want for nothing.
I like this guy, but I feel his views for my future are not right.
I guess he picked up on my frustration, and hes not texting much any longer.
I did not discuss this with him, but I think he gets the drift.
He may be bringing the kids to live with him because of his ex-wifes newfound drug issue.
The two oldest dont want to live with him.
He said hes not dividing them.
Either they all come, or they all stay.
If these were his words, I wish youd ended the date right then.
But I have a hunch this is your interpretation of what he told you.
Estate planningis a poor conversation topic for a first date.
This man gave you valuable insight into how he treats the people in his life.
To be clear, Im referring to his kids, not you.
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Would you feel better about dating this man if he told you his kids get nothing when he dies?
If you want to be someones No.
1 financial priority and build an empire together, I suppose dating someone with no kids makes sense.
But keep in mind that the older you get, youll be screening out a lot of potential mates.
If youre worried about being left broke in old age, quit waiting for Prince Charming.
Be your own Prince(ss) Charming.
Focus on your career, yourretirement savings, and living within your means.
You may think that this man and others who think like he does should stay single.
But you dont get a deciding vote on who throws themselves into the dating pool.
What you’re free to do is set standards for yourself and who you pursue a relationship with.
Focus on finding a decent person before you get into the nitty-gritty of each others finances.
No two people see eye-to-eye on everything.
But reasonable people can compromise when theyre building a life together.
Hopefully, you’re able to apply what Ive told you to future suitors.
But you really dont need advice for dealing with this man.
Youve decided your views are incompatible, and hes barely texting you.
Consider this a problem thats solved itself.
Robin Hartill is a certified financial planner and a senior writer at The Penny Hoarder.
Send your tricky money questions to[email protected]or chat with her inThe Penny Hoarder Community.
