She originally agreed to pay for the reception and some of the ceremony.
My budget is somewhat limited, while hers is lets say flexible.
I recently have begun to draw the line with her, but that just makes her upset.
-A.
Dear A.,
Some people reading this will no doubt cast you off as an ungrateful daughter.
I dont think this is the case here.
Its tough when someone tells you theyll pay for something, then backs out.
You say youve tried to draw the line with your mom.
But have you tried talking to her from a place of concern about the panic she feels?
Yes, your mom has had more time to make money than you have.
But she also has less time to earn back whatever money shes spending.
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Wedding budgets are notorious for spiraling out of hand.
Even if youve stayed within budget, understand where your mom is coming from.
No matter how prepared you are for a big expense, paying for it can be painful.
Try talking to your mom when shes not in panic mode.
Theres only one way to start this conversation and thats by expressing gratitude.
No Interest Til Almost 2027?
Ask her what her specific concerns are.
Is the wedding costing her more than she expected?
Has her financial situation changed since you got engaged?
Did she overcommit in her excitement?
You may find that shes worried about whether she has enough money saved.
But often, their finances arent quite as solid as youd expect.
Perhaps this conversation will give your mom clarity about whether she really can afford all these costs.
Im assuming its too late to take major cost-cutting measures, like reducing the headcount or changing venues.
But you still have other options.
Could you and your fiance offer to pay her back for part of her costs over time?
Could you earn extra income between now and the wedding to shoulder a bit more of the costs?
Or perhaps, your fiances parents help out with a few more expenses.
Robin Hartill is a certified financial planner and a senior writer at The Penny Hoarder.
Send your tricky money questions to[email protected].
(Can you sense my millennial sarcasm there?)
You know which ones were talking about: rent, utilities, cell phone bill, insurance, groceries…
