My husband has one brother and a sister, both seniors.

He has allocated 10% for his brother and 20% for his sister.

He has also designated four charities at 10% each.

A portrait of a senior citizen couple who are wealthy.

That leaves me with 5% each for my family.

Drawing the Short Stick

Dear Short Stick,

First, kudos to you and your husband for discussingyour willnow!

Many people have trouble starting this conversation, but its important.

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That can make for some difficult conversations, especially if you havent been regularlytalking about money throughout your relationship.

But you wont land on a satisfying agreement if youre not able to talk frankly about your money.

What about your shared history and relationship with money is behind that?

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Are you struggling to cope with financial stress?

First, take a deep breath.

Then, take a look at our roundup ofresources to help you manage your stress and your money.

Second, youll determine where the money will go.

But a 50-50 split in decision making or between families of origin isnt your only option.

Conversations about money especially within families are rarely about numbers, so dont get caught up there.

Is there something unresolved in your relationships with each others siblings?

Do the chosen charities represent a difference of values?

Do you fundamentally disagree on the purpose of wealth?

Is this a symptom of a larger power dynamic in your relationship?

Dana Miranda is a Certified Educator in Personal Finance, author, speaker and personal finance journalist.