We used most of the money to pay off debt and have been surviving on my salary.
I make enough to pay our bills, but theres very little left over for extras.
My fiance doesnt seem to think that this is a problem because were making ends meet.
Penny, I never wanted to be the sole earner, and I hate living paycheck to paycheck.
He tells me to stop nagging him whenever I ask him when hell start searching for a job.
How do I get him to understand how stressed I am about our finances?
-Squeaking By
Dear Squeaking By,
Try saying this: I amstressed about our finances.
Say it when youre sober.
Then say: Id like for us to talk aboutour money plans and goals.
Schedule a time, day and place to have a talk.
You didnt just wake up last week feeling the pressures of being the breadwinner.
This has been building for nearly six months.
See if any of these options help.
And its understandable why youve been avoiding the conversation.
A job loss is often about so much more than the loss of income.
We derive a huge part of our identities from our jobs.
Think about how often we learn someones name and immediately follow up with, What do you do?
But youre not a sponge.
you could only absorb so much stress.
It sounds like your anxieties are spilling out in the form of You should get a job-throw in statements.
Your goal in this conversation isnt to assign blame; its tocome up with a plan together.
Be prepared to listen as much as you talk.
Drowning in Expenses?
Maybe youre scrambling after your car broke down.
Or you got a medical bill you werent expecting.
Or inflation has finally pushed your budget over the edge.
You dont need to go it alone.
When money is tight,these resourcescan help you manage unexpected expenses without stress.
you gotta be comfortable talking about money in marriage.
Sometimes silence is more powerful than words.
That, unfortunately, is a problem that will linger long after hes found a job.
Robin Hartill is a senior editor at The Penny Hoarder and the voice behind Dear Penny.
Send your questions about having difficult money conversations to[email protected].
