He is very generous when I am with him and will always take care of the bills.
He first ensures that I am satisfied before he spends on himself.
But he cant enjoy life lavishly by traveling a few times a year or living in a bigger apartment.
He explained those to me from day one before COVID-19, and it seemed that I accepted it.
But now I feel that his long working hours dont suit my lifestyle, given what he earns.
I am finding it hard that we cant travel in the summer.
However, he isnt stopping me from traveling and encourages me to go.
He is in his early 40s and is just a year older than me.
And youll be able to seek out someone who meets your standards, which may be impossibly high.
But I dont want to automatically dismiss your concerns because Im not sure theyre materialistic.
Sometimes, two people have clashing priorities.
How you spend your money reflects those priorities.
Its not materialistic to end arelationshipbecause your priorities are a complete mismatch.
Ill admit I cringed a bit at your description of your boyfriends appearance and inability to enjoy life lavishly.
But I dont think its wrong that you want to travel with your boyfriend.
It isnt surprising that this problem is surfacing now.
So it makes sense that you accepted your boyfriends lifestyle back then.
Context matters so much here.
Specifically, I wonder just how lavish thesevacationsyoure planning are.
Im curious about whether this is a money issue or a problem with your attitudes about money.
Its a money problem if you want to travel together but cant foot the bill for two people.
If you split things equally at home, would your boyfriend be able to travel more?
Are you struggling to cope with financial stress?
First, take a deep breath.
Then, take a look at our roundup ofresources to help you manage your stress and your money.
see to it youve communicated to your boyfriend just how important traveling is to you.
But before you decide what to do, confirm youre clear with yourself about what youre looking for.
No one person can check every single box.
If you find someone youre compatible with, the odds that your budgets will be identical are slim.
So consider the likelihood of actually finding someone who meets your criteria.
It doesnt sound like your boyfriends lifestyle or finances are going to change any time soon.
Its OK if you decide to end this relationship because your priorities are out of sync.
But its not OK to weigh your boyfriend down with expectations you know hell never be able to afford.
Robin Hartill is a certified financial planner and a senior writer at The Penny Hoarder.
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