Real Answers for Life’s Money Challenges
Im 70 and a widow of six years.
I was married for almost 43 years.
Were both healthy and physically active.
These are thebiggest money secrets rich people don’t tell you.
We love to dance, hike and visit new places.
Hes been married twice and has four children.
He is very close to his kids, grandkids and siblings.
I have met them and they are good, decent people.
He has lots of friends and is very outgoing.
Hes self-employed with a business next to his home.
He works when he feels like it.
He doesnt have much money.
His Social Security is minimal.
His house is paid off, his expenses are low, and he is careful with his money.
My husband left me financially secure.
We were always careful with money and never lived an extravagant lifestyle.
Ive got two adult children who are financially independent.
The man Im seeing doesnt have much disposable income and isnt concerned about it.
Im not sure about a long-term future with him feeling this way.
Im not talking about fine dining and five-star hotels.
I have no problem paying my share, but not for both of us.
He knows that I will never marry again and whatever money I have left will go to my children.
He does help around the house.
Now that we have our vaccines, I went to visit my family, who live in another country.
He decided not to join me, but he didnt want to return home, either.
I pointed out that this is his busy time for business and he should take advantage.
But he says he has worked hard and its his time now to enjoy life.
Is this relationship doomed because of our differences in attitude on finances?
Should we just enjoy what we have?
-Am I Too Old to Have It All?
Your letter screams yes to me.
You share the same hobbies.
You like his family and friends.
Your boyfriend sounds like someone who manages what little money he does have wisely.
He can afford his lifestyle he just cant afford your lifestyle.
But from a 70-something?
What I want you to do is think about the next trip you want to take post-COVID.
Or would you enjoy it more traveling together, even if that means youll pay for most of it?
No Interest Til Almost 2027?
Hes already been staying with you for six months in Florida.
Hes not talking about selling his home in New England.
No ones begging for the other persons hand in marriage.
I dont think your relationship is doomed and age is a very big factor here.
My answer would be very different here if you were in your 20s or 30s.
But in your 70s, its a lot more realistic that you might keep your finances separate.
Whatever you do, dont pursue a future with this man if you think youre going to change him.
It sounds like money just isnt that important to him.
Thats not a character flaw.
You dont always fall in love with someone in the same tax bracket.
That means one person often shoulders a greater share of the expenses.
But if this relationship truly makes you happy, thats a small price to pay.
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