Real Answers for Life’s Money Challenges
Im 63, and my man is 65.
Weve been together for six years.
He has a self-made business with significant real estate holdings.
We are both retired.
One of his two sons is taking over the business using a well-thought-out transition plan.
I also have two adult sons who are doing well.
I have no debt and own a home, plus I receive $90,000 a year in pensions.
I also have a Roth IRA and stocks worth less than $250,000.
We would have a prenup, of course, as I have no right to his assets.
We currently live in his house and winter in Florida.
About all I provide is groceries and cable.
We own nothing jointly except a Florida bank account for utilities and expenses related to upkeep.
Ultimately, he has his and I have mine.
How do we make things ours without making it appear that Im a gold digger?
Is he really talking about a big purchase he wants to make?
Because it sounds like hes taking aim at you.
Nor do you need it.
Youre a financially independent woman.
You get that money no matter what happens to thestock marketor real estate values.
Rarely do you fall in love with someone who has the exact same net worth and income as you.
Just as one person will probably be taller or fatter or funnier, one person will probably be richer.
Splitting expenseswhen one person has more moneyisnt rocket science.
If youre telling him you want to pay and he wont hear of it, hes not hearing you.
It may seem like generosity, but I worry hes revealing his deep-down belief that youre not his equal.
It may be tempting to ignore your boyfriends remarks if hes only making them occasionally.
But dont let him off the hook next time he says something rude about your finances.
This can be as simple as asking What do you mean by that?
or Why would you say that?
to force a discussion.
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Youre not holding your boyfriend back from anything.
Do not let him convince you otherwise.
I think youve made it clear to your boyfriend that youre not after his money.
Hes the one with the problem if he still doesnt get that.
But thats his prerogative.
In that case, he may just have to enjoy that Florida construction alone.
Robin Hartill is a certified financial planner and a senior writer at The Penny Hoarder.
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