Real Answers for Life’s Money Challenges
My partner and I have been together for 10 years.
During that time, we have both had many mental and emotional struggles.
I had struggles of my own and got sober during that time.
Once you finally get your finances in order, you want to keep them that way. Here areseveral moves to make now.
Now, we are recommitting to our relationship.
Right now, were in a long-distance relationship of 3,000 miles.
We used to live together, but I moved back to our hometown.
However, his mental health is getting worse, and its impacting his finances.
Hes paying rent at two places because he cant commit to moving to one place.
His job doesnt pay him well.
We had a trip planned to Europe.
He wont get therapy because hes scared, but also I think he thinks its too expensive.
Were both in our mid-twenties and equally financially unstable when it comes to day-to-day responsibilities.
Neither of us is actively paying off our credit cards.
However, I have some money from a trust fund.
Should I be more understanding?
How can we have a future when he is so financially unstable?
The real question is, How can we have a future when he is so unstable?
And Im not sure that you might, at least right now.
You say your partners worsening mental health is affecting his finances.
Im guessing its affecting every other aspect of his life as well.
Money troubles are often just a symptom of a much bigger sickness.
Sometimes, focusing on financial problems is easiest because theyre quantifiable.
And you’re free to jump in with solutions because theyre so obvious.
Thats a much harder issue to address.
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Id urge you to talk to a mental health professional, given the seriousness of this situation.
Therapy used to be cost-prohibitive, but there are a lot more options now for findingaffordable mental healthcare.
Telehealth options like BetterHelp and Talkspace are typically much cheaper than meeting face-to-face with a therapist.
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But know that this is his decision, not yours.
Youve been with your partner for 10 years, yet youre only in your mid-twenties.
Whatever you do, though, you oughta live your life, even if your partner is stuck.
Go to Europe without him as long as you’ve got the option to afford the $600.
Tell him you understand that he doesnt have the money right now.
Keep your finances separate.
Dont attempt to rescue him.
you could be understanding.
you’re free to tell your partner youre sorry for how much hes hurting.
But you cant be responsible for his life decisions.
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