Earlier this year, his health issues made moving him into a nursing home necessary.
Dad has extensive collections of antiques and collectibles that could easily disappear.
We are concerned that this arrangement will really complicate all of our lives when Dad dies.
I appreciate that his money is his money, but this extended living arrangement has us really steamed.
Communication has never been good in our family.
Any advice for how to think about this, protect family assets, and move forward?
-Distressed Daughter
Dear Distressed,
Is your primary concern that your fathers final wishes wont be carried out?
Or are you more worried about still having to deal with Dads girlfriend when hes gone?
The way youve laid things out makes it sound like the latter.
Your dads girlfriend is in her 80s.
Shes lived in his home for several years.
I think your father is being reasonable.
You may not like her, but shes been an important part of his life for a decade.
Its understandable that he doesnt want to uproot her when he dies.
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(Repeat,hiswishes.)
Dont accuse his girlfriend of being after his money.
Dont suggest that shell be ready to shack up with someone else the second he dies.
It sounds like your father may have put the home in a life estate.
In these arrangements, the tenant is usually responsible for these costs.
He could leave them to you, your siblings or anyone else via his will or a trust.
Keep in mind that collectibles are often way more valuable to the collector than they are in the marketplace.
Probably not as good as youd like.
It always seems like an uphill battle to build (and keep) a decent amount in savings.
But what if your car breaks down, or you have a sudden medical bill?
Ask one of these companies to help…
I suspect, though, that your dad may be fully aware of your concerns.
Communication isnt just about making yourself heard.
It requires listening, even if you dont like the answers you get.
This doesnt seem like one of those times.
He may still need to work out some details, but fortunately, he has an attorney.
Given your fathers age and health issues, he may not have a lot of time left.
kindly heed his warning and dont make this contentious.
He deserves peace, not squabbling.
Robin Hartill is a certified financial planner and a senior writer at The Penny Hoarder.
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