Real Answers for Life’s Money Challenges
I recently moved into my fathers house to help him pay bills.
He claimed that the pandemic affected his finances.
For about 15 years, our relationship was strained because of his second wife.
I am a disabled veteran and a single mom, and my income comes entirely from my benefits.
I had to spend my savings on extremely necessary repairs to make the house livable.
I want to leave, but I dont want to leave him here to rot.
He wont even talk to me about moving to a smaller place.
I cant afford to pay for him to stay here if I move out.
I cant stay because the stress and poor living conditions are affecting my already poor health.
-Parent Problems
Dear Parent Problems,
This house is a sinking ship that your father wont leave.
Youre not letting him rot by moving out.
Your dilemma may seem like its about housing repairs.
But I think its about so much more than that.
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I think you should start making plans to move out as soon as possible.
Granted, that may not be so easy given how exorbitanthousing costsare in some parts of the country.
You may also want to check with the VA about housing resources for disabled veterans.
But you cant afford to make your fathers expenses a part of your budget.
Once youve found housing, you’re free to notify your father of your plans.
Be prepared for a guilt-laden conversation.
When someone refuses to listen to words, you have no other choice but to take action.
Your father probably will be shocked when you tell him youre actually moving out.
Probably not as good as youd like.
It always seems like an uphill battle to build (and keep) a decent amount in savings.
But what if your car breaks down, or you have a sudden medical bill?
Im sorry youve used your savings on improvements to your fathers home.
And dont let your father make you feel guilty about prioritizing your health.
You and your kids deserve a safe place to live, regardless of his poor planning.
Robin Hartill is a certified financial planner and a senior writer at The Penny Hoarder.
She writes the Dear Penny personal finance advice column.
Send your tricky money questions to[email protected]or chat with her inThe Penny Hoarder Community.
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