Real Answers for Life’s Money Challenges
My husband and I have both worked full-time jobs our whole marriage.
About 10 years ago, I started a side hustle.
In June 2019, I was laid off from my job, along with many others in the company.
So I decided to make it my full-time job, which my husband was OK with.
I still work at least 40 hours a week.
He likes that he can do what he wants all day.
He never said it would be that way until just recently.
I am trying not to feel bad and tell myself that most people work.
He has no real good reason not to work since we are still young.
Im not asking for decades.
-Annoyed Wife
Dear Annoyed,
If your husband sulks, ignore him.
But yo dont waste a second feeling guilty about asking him to work.
Hes gotten two years of leisure.
You busted your butt to get to a place where you didnt need to be traditionally employed.
You basically did two full-time jobs for nearly a decade.
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Meanwhile, youre carrying the weight for both of you.
Whatever your financial goals are, youll get there much faster if hes contributing.
I dont want you to settle for being financially OK, when you could be thriving.
In all fairness, though, your husband is doing what youve asked of him.
Hes applying for jobs.
If he complains, you could acknowledge that youre asking for a big change.
Tell him you appreciate the fact that hes willing to readjust after two years out of the workforce.
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The two of you should sit down together and review your progress on whatever financial goals you share.
If youre already on track, aim higher.
For example, say youre both aiming to retire in five years and travel full time.
Maybe your husband will be more motivated when he sees that his contributions are necessary for reaching your goals.
Keep in mind that change is hard, though.
He might keep on complaining for now.
But hopefully hell stop once he readjusts to working life.
Hold your ground on this one.
Youve supported your husband for two years.
Youre giving him room to find work that he loves.
No matter how much he whines, youre not being unreasonable.
Robin Hartill is a certified financial planner and a senior writer at The Penny Hoarder.
Send your tricky money questions to[email protected]or chat with her inThe Penny Hoarder Community.
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