Real Answers for Life’s Money Challenges

My aunt passed away.

Her only daughter, Beth, could not afford the full cost of the funeral.

She is 61 and working two jobs and sometimes three jobs to make ends meet.

A group of people leave a funeral burial service.

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She has children who are in their 30s, but they struggle to make ends meet as well.

My cousin, Mary, and her siblings were thinking about helping her with the cost of the funeral.

They are close to Beth and have had contact with her throughout the years.

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Both of my brothers chimed in that they would be happy to help in any way they can.

However, my aunt was my dads sister, so I understood why my brothers wanted to help.

I remained silent and didnt reply until I had a chance to think about it.

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I decided to send Beth a Mass card, knowing she and my aunt were very religious.

I felt the gift was appropriate for my relationship with her.

The full cost of the funeral was now covered.

My brother went on to say that Beth would no longer have my aunts Social Security checks.

(My aunt was living with Beth at the time of her death.)

Tom was wondering if we would all like to contribute and send something.

All my brothers agreed to do so.

I told him I already sent something to Beth.

I havent heard from my brothers since that email.

I have always been frugal and it bothers Tom.

Its not a question of being able to afford it.

This situation has kept me up for nights on end.

Im not sure if I did the right thing by not contributing the $500.

Do you have any advice?

Most of us have finite resources.

You dont say how long its been since your email exchange with your brothers.

Try calling, emailing or texting whichever brother youre closest to just to say hi.

Theres no need to bring up your aunts death or Beths hardship.

But if the brother you reach out to calls you out for not contributing, dont apologize.

Then, take a stab at change the subject to whats going on in your own lives.

Your brothers may not approve of your frugality.

But they really dont have to.

Youre siblings, not spouses.

I suspect that youre overthinking things a bit.

You refused to do what everyone else was doing, which can cause you to second-guess yourself.

Even if your brothers are annoyed with you, Im guessing it will pass with a little time.

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Should you ever face a similar situation, my question for you is: Would you rather be frugal?

Or would you rather not be awake for nights on end worrying that everyone is mad at you?

Theres no right or wrong answer here.

If your frugality is important to you, hold your ground in the future.

It isnt about whats wrong or right.

Its about whats most comfortable for you.

But thats up to you, not your brothers, to decide.

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