Because I wasnt staying there, she never paid rent, but she did pay for internet and gas.
Well, now things are progressing, and I will be selling my moms home.
I am currently having a room built at my home, since she will be staying there as well.
I have always helped out my kids as a single mom.
I told her NO.
I then said her grandmother knows that this is an unrealistic request.
Ill have a pension and Social Security with only a leased car to pay for.
Now they are thinking of asking me again in a year or so to co-sign.
Am I wrong to tell her no?
Am I wrong to focus more on me and my mother at this time in our lives?
I know she cant afford an apartment by herself in California, but thats not my fault either.
-Frustrated Mom
Dear Frustrated,
Your daughter isnt the only person struggling with the cost of housing these days.
No one knows what the solution is.
Not many 25-year-olds can afford that much house on an entry-level salary.
Im not sure what the deal is with your daughter and her grandmother.
Maybe Grandma wants to set you up as the bad guy.
But its also possible that Grandma doesnt understand how serious the consequences can be whenco-signing goes awry.
It really doesnt matter what your daughters grandmother thinks.
Its your money and your credit on the line.
Of course, that wont stop her from having an opinion about how you use your money and credit.
But you really shouldnt spend any of your energy worrying about whatever nonsense shes telling your daughter.
Drowning in Expenses?
Maybe youre scrambling after your car broke down.
Or you got a medical bill you werent expecting.
Or inflation has finally pushed your budget over the edge.
You dont need to go it alone.
When money is tight,these resourcescan help you manage unexpected expenses without stress.
But this isnt just about your retirement.
Youd be doing your daughter a big disservice by co-signing on a home she cant afford.
We build grit by not getting whatever we want whenever we want it.
Ill give you permission to have this discussion one more time to check that everythings crystal clear.
Tell her this is the last time youre having this discussion.
If she brings it up again, tell her, Im not going to discuss this with you.
Repeat again as necessary, even if that means you have to walk out of the room.
Your daughter has plenty of options for finding a place to live.
She could also get roommates, take on aside hustle, or move to a less-expensive state.
Your mothers care and your own impending retirement should be your focus right now.
Your daughter doesnt need an $800,000 house.
What she needs is to learn how to act like an adult.
Shell get there faster if you focus less on her needs right now, not more.
Robin Hartill is a certified financial planner and a senior writer at The Penny Hoarder.
Send your tricky money questions to[email protected].