Lisa Orban was married to her abuser for three years.
In 1990, she left after he threatened to kill her and their two young children.
She was 20 years old.
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Her financial situation in the marriage?
Bad, in a nutshell, she recalled.
Her husband was the main breadwinner, and he managed the familys finances.
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She lost multiple jobs because of his meddling.
Before she could start, he contacted the university and told them shed decided to drop out.
He even had control of the mailbox.
He took her key, though she thought shed just lost it, and put off replacing it.
That had major, unexpected financial ramifications.
The $4,000 loan ultimately cost her $38,000 to repay.
He kept control of the checking account.
He wouldnt let her use the car alone.
He signed up for credit cards in her name.
What Is Financial Abuse?
Likely, its some mix of these, but not always all of them.
Imagine tightening the reins on the financial condition of the home, so that theres limited options.
Victims of domestic violence oftenstay in an abusive relationshipbecause of a lack of financial resources.
Thats easier said than done.
Thats why before you do anything, we recommend this step:
1.
They can point out potential pitfalls and let you know what major financial hurdles to expect.
She also recommends having credit cards in your name alone.
A bonus at work may be a similar lifeline.
Or store them in a cloud drive that you and only you can access from anywhere, likeGoogle Drive.
you could tell your bank the question you want to use.
You dont have to stick with a default question your partner might know the answer to.
Also, remove your personal items from a safe deposit box if it is held jointly, Alexander said.
If you cant afford to work with a professional, utilize your local library or domestic abuse support organization.
It may have financial literacy classes, support groups and literature to help you.
Even financially savvy friends and family can offer advice.
Reach out to them.
6 Steps to Rebuild Your Finances After Leaving
Orban didnt make a plan to leave her abuser.
She did what many survivors do: run blindly for their lives.
These are things you look at, and you go, This is it.
This is my chance.
Once youve left and youre safe, your greatest financial hurdle may be not knowing what youre working with.
Start by figuring that out.
To create a rebuilding plan, you have to first know what youre dealing with by reviewingyour credit report.
Do you have credit card debt?
Is an unpaid mortgage in your name?
Are youbehind on medical bills?
Your credit report will give you this information.
To check out your free reports, start atannualcreditreport.com.
Your credit history can affect alotof what you do from now on.
It will affect how much you pay to rent a car or get a new cell phone.
It could even affect your car insurance rates.
Reach out to them directly and ask what you gotta do to eliminate those debts.
That way, businesses must verify your identity before issuing credit in your name.
Heres how to initiate a fraud alert with one of the bureaus:
3.
Orban learned to manage her budget through trial and error.
She always kept a detailed budget.
Read our tips on how to budget if youve never done it before:
4.
Rebuild Your Credit
Even if you have damaged credit, youre not doomed.
Since my credit had been damaged a bit, I wanted to rebuild that as well, Kuehner says.
Taking out secured loans… was the easiest way I knew.
Within a year-and- a-half my credit had been repaired.
Start by taking out a secured loan or opening asecured credit card.
Unlike a debit card, secured cards report your payments and balance to credit bureaus.
So its a way to establish a credit history if yours is shot or nonexistent.
Read more tips for rebuilding your credit:
5.
It could interrupt a work history, Harden said.
If youve lost your job or youve been out of work for a while, you have options.
Find abridge jobor seasonal job, orpick up a side gig.
These may not become your long-term career, but theyll get some money coming in.
Community collegescan also be a great resource for job placement.
Prepare for Financial Success
The final step is refocusing on financial vitality, Harden said.
What does a thriving, successful life look like for you?
Is there a business you oughta reclaim, a career you oughta start over or education you oughta finish?
If youre relying on financial support from loved ones,these 13 steps could help you cut the cord.
And remember, you dont have to go through it again.
Early on, negotiate a split of resources and financial responsibilities that satisfies and respects both of your needs.
Starting Over
Orban is now retired and has written about her experiences.
Healing emotionally and financially took a lot of time and work.
But a small epiphany late one night made her realize she could do it.
(I realized) I didnt have to wait for time to heal all wounds.
Deputy editor Tiffany Wendeln Connors updated this post.
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